So demotu and I both really love accidentally-a-girl-for-a-day genderswap. And in the wake of longtime_lurker’s fic (which you should all go read, because it’s excellent porny filth), we got to talking about it…
Lauren: just like
the idea of Jonny being a ragey angry woman
who probably becomes aggressively women’s rights
while being a chickand it shouting at everybody for objectification
and throwing things at guys who hit on herand being a giant ball of grumpiness
and so Patrick has to literally be likeyo, bro, come back to mine
I need to show you something
Hilary: oh that is so good
Lauren: and then gives her about forty orgasms
Lauren: and then Jonny runs around
and is like ONLY PATRICK IS ACCEPTABLE
and the rest of the team is like
Lauren: Iiiii am posting this conversation to tumblr
BECAUSE HOPEFULLY IT WILL INSPIRE SOMEBODY
(FUCK YOU AND YOUR HARD RETURNS, TUMBLR)
Oh no, this is TERRIBLE because I feel like Jonny probably never would have considered women’s rights/feminism all that much before this? Not because he’s a bad dude or anything, but because he doesn’t have any sisters, grew up in a predominantly male environment, spends literally ALL his time with other dudes, etc. etc. So he’s suddenly a girl, and people are SHOUTING THINGS at him on the street, and when he goes to the bar or club or whatever with the team DUDES ARE TOUCHING HIM WITHOUT ASKING and like he SAID NO, OKAY that means NO, NOT LET ME CONVINCE YOU. So he’s really angry about a) being a girl in the first place, and b) how much being a girl apparently SUCKS ALL THE TIME so he’s like sulking about it in the press box one day because HE COULD BE PLAYING HOCKEY RIGHT NOW and like LITERALLY SIX GUYS just hit on him when he went to the bathroom and like three others asked him if he even KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT HOCKEY or if he was just there to watch the hot dudes and HE IS NOT IMPRESSED with dudes right now, that’s for sure. So he’s sulking about it in the press box and then like IDK someone’s wife is like AW WHAT’S THE MATTER, BABY and then he just like EXPLODES ON THEM and they’re like “….yes. welcome to being a woman” and he’s like NO I DON’T LIKE THIS AND I DON’T LIKE THAT YOU GUYS HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS so then he starts reading about FEMINISM and learning and shit and all the dudes on his team are like “….what. no seriously. what.” and he’s like FUCK YOU GUYS THIS IS IMPORTANT and then yeah orgasms and stuff.
Sounds like…an excellent plan. Could I convince you to write it, eh eh?
Ugh, I might have to. I think I would want Jonny to stay a girl for a longish amount of time? because even though I’m sure he’d start to notice right away that hey a lot of stuff ladies have to go through is actually pretty terrible, I think in cases where it’s really temporary you don’t get to really see that? It would probably end up going the OH YEAH THIS IS SOMETHING THAT JUST HAPPENS which is actually my favourite form of magical realism that you see come out of hockey fandom (I KNEW A GUY IN JUNIORS LOL) but I think it wouldn’t be so focused on the SOLITARY CONFINEMENT, WHAT IF SOMEONE FINDS OUT!!!!!! aspect because like, if you saw a lady that looked super like Jonathan Toews you’d just be like, oh hey that lady super looks like Jonathan Toews, not OH MY GOD JONNY TOEWS HAS BEEN MAGICALLY TRANSFORMED INTO A LADY!!!!!! so idk, maybe it would be like oh the team says he’s out because of concussion or “lower body injury” indefinitely and then BAM SOMEONE GETS THE CHANCE TO EXPLORE WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A FEMALE BODY.
Plus with an extended period of time, you get the chance to explore the OH HEY I HAVE FEELINGS BECAUSE I CARE FOR MY BUDDY I’M NOT JUST ATTRACTED TO HIM BECAUSE HE’S GOT LADY PARTS NOW, which can sometimes be glossed over in favour of porn (just to be clear if the choice is between feelings and porn, porn is usually the right decision), but in a longer fic you get a chance to explore that more WITH THE ADDED BONUS of Jonny being like OH GOD PAT ONLY LIKES ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I HAVE A VAGINA and like angst and miscommunication and all that fun jazz.